About mom.
Micro-dosing magic mushrooms has transformed me. Growing up I wish I was a bird so I could escape the life I was brought into. Of course, this wish was never granted so I continued to survive in a household full of violence, alcohol, and drugs. I have two (2) older siblings but I do not remember ever living in the same house as them. It was always just me and my mom plus whoever was our roommate at the time. I was never allowed to form relationships with my family or make friends, as my mom moved us almost every 6 months.
As an adult, I escaped following in my family’s footsteps of having a felony and found myself with a career in software. Unfortunately, I was unable to escape the depression, anxiety, and PTSD that I was gifted with from my upbringing.
After my second child was born, and I stopped breastfeeding, I found myself having a cyclical vomiting syndrome (CVS) episode every month. CVS wakes me up early in the morning where I proceed to evacuate my bowels and vomit bile for the next 24 hours. I suffer from extreme abdominal cramps, hot/cold sweats, and fall into a comatose-like state during the episode. I usually end up in the ER once a quarter due to heart pains from low potassium and dehydration.
Over the first two years of CVS I had various tests and procedures performed and saw every specialist doctor recommended. All tests were normal and nothing could be found to be causing my monthly CVS. I tried several different prescription medications and each one had a bad side effect and/or a paradoxical effect in addition to not stopping the CVS.
The last SSRI I was on, made me feel like my soul was shredding. I was angry, had no patience, felt like I was going to die every month, and felt hopeless. While talking to the nurse psychiatrist, they offered me Cymbalta and made it sound like a miracle pill. It would relieve my aches and pains, help with my OCD, and anxiety along with other benefits like stopping my muscle cramps.
During my research of this pill, I found it had worse side effects listed than the last SSRI and it made me extremely nervous as I always seem to get the bad side effects. I started researching what other, non-prescription, treatments were available to me and found micro-dosing psilocybin (aka magic mushrooms) attractive.
At this point in my life, I felt like I was out of options and that I was going to die. I thought “What the hell, it can’t be worse than what I have gone through” and started finding how to procure magic mushrooms. Just by chance, I saw a post on NextDoor advertising some. This one decision to go against modern medicine has transformed me into a better person, a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend. I am so grateful for the little things and have had so many benefits from micro-dosing magic mushrooms.
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